Beauty

I REALLY should not be writing at this moment... I have 25 minutes before I need to start supper to have it ready between when Jeremy arrives and we leave for Tuesday night Bible study/discussion time. Anyhow, I am really loving this whole idea of Fall... the changing of the seasons, etc. I think down South the leaves are just green, yellow, and suddenly gone (and maybe without the yellow part).

It is beautiful here. The leaves are just starting to change. It seems that everyday I look out the window and the tree outside our place looks noticably different than the day before. I went out to coffee with a friend last Friday, and she suggested taking pictures of an area over the next bit of time to catch the change in seasons. Anyhow, it is cool.

We are going apple picking this weekend, which for the non-New England readers, is a huge tradition up here. Apple orchards are everywhere and that is just what you do... pick apples right off the tree. I'm super excited. We'll be going out about an hour west of here this weekend, and then up in New Hampshire in a couple weekends.

Jeremy is still chugging along at work as well. If it were up to him, we'd skip everything and go straight to winter.... he's crazy. I agree that I'm excited about Christmas time with actual snow.

My internship is super.... I like it a lot. I spend most of my days corralling the elderly. Telling them that no one is behind the piano stealing our secrets, that they can't be mean or yell at the nurses, and helping them remember what happened 5 minutes and 10 and more years ago. It's fun and sad at times. My supervisor is great. I talked with a "healing priest" today who is now a resident in the long-term care area.... that was interesting. Evidently, he used to have quite a following in that area of Boston.

Alright... gotta get busy with dinner.

Heatwave!

Just a super quick funny note. I woke up feeling dizzy, was sweating and wanted to barf last night(no....not pregnant :o)...). When I finally woke up enough to analyze further how I was feeling, I realized that the freakin HEATERS were on. Apparently our apartment complex felt that the first chilly evening (45 degrees or so) deserved heaters. We can't control it (I can't complain because we don't pay for it). Not just a bit of heat either.... enough that I opened the windows a lot in order to be able to go back to sleep.

I just found it humorous that it was mid-September and a heater was on. That's all.

A bunch of hogwash...

I went to a website a bit ago to read about this new Christian book that had come out that I was interested in, and then underneath it was another new book about getting over depression, and this was the beginning of the authors comment about his book:

''In a sense, a depressed Christian is a contradiction in terms.''

This comment bothered me deeply, and push me to come write my thoughts because I think that it will be refreshing for me to read my own words and for others like me in the Christian community who may feel ostersized if they have the same struggle. Very, very few of you know that I have stuggled with episodes of what I only recently am realizing that may be depression or at the very least a big struggle to adapt to all of the many changes and stresses in my life, for over a year now. It included a huge struggle with my image (I don't know a woman who doesn't find herself here), and how my faith fits in with all the many awful things I saw at work everyday in Texas. I have gone through times of constantly feeling guilt and being overwhelmed. In many ways, I am a different person than before all of the things that happened at my previous job. I cope with EVERYTHING differently than I used to. At times, I'd searched and dug through all areas of my life thinking that I'm missing something, that there is some sin there that I am not realizing, and then guilty again because I just "must not be praying enough" or I'm not "depending on Christ fully" even though in many ways I felt that I was crying to God and looking to him. I felt so guilty that I didn't talk about it... not even with Jeremy. Anyhow, here are the words of a wise, wise lady that I've been talking to from my church back home:

"I am not saying that there is not depression that is caused by circumstances, even sometimes by sin. But that is not true of all depression."

"Sometimes all the things you do to help the situation, including time in the Word and prayer (which I fully support), are not enough to keep you on an even emotional keel."

Anyhow, be your own judge if you will, but I just wanted to put it out there.... I know I'm not alone in my journey, and I think that it is refreshing for the Christian (and non-Christian) community to hear something different. Don't feel guilty.

Back to what I should have been doing, but haven't started all day.... reading. :)