Insecurities

So, since I'm not doing school work this week, I have a chance to do some reading extraneously and catch up on things that were previously passed up. Tonight, I spent a bit of time catching up on blogs and got caught up reading Beth Moore's Living Proof Ministries blog (livingproofministries.blogspot.com). Ladies, if you don't occasionally scan/read this blog you should. Of course there is talk about things such as new shoes, family, her grandson Jackson (refreshing variety for a blog of a person in Christian ministry), but there is also a bunch of insightful posts and good nuggets of info for your walk. Anyhow...onto the topic of the night.

So, on December 4, she posted asking for women's comments on the issue of insecurities in women's lives. It requested autonomous comments and asked about how much of an issue insecurity is in reader's lives, the 2 main sources of insecurity, and if men was one of them. Anyhow, I was curious and so took a scan through the comments. Interestingly (and without prompt from the questions) many women voiced that other women played into their own insecurities...many said equally or more so than men.

I guess this isn't surprising to me. In my own life, insecurity isn't that big of a deal. It plays a role from time to time, but I wouldn't find it's source in Jeremy or other women. I guess for me each time the sources (if even an identifiable one) would vary. Personally, pride is a much more tempting state of existance...if I'm wallowing somewhere, 9/10 times it is being overly confident in my own abilities and not in my Savior's....but alas, that is a post for another day.


But, back to the insecurities and women....

In briefly thinking, we all play into this. Just recently with a group of women, we were discussing spiritual gifts. Someone brought up that some gifts are seemingly less glamorous, needed, and critically necessary than others. Now, these gifts were encouragement, service, mercy, etc...you know the ones that many women are traditionally more comfortable functioning in. Of course, I say "seemingly" less necessary, because we know from scripture that all spiritual gifts are necessary and that the larger body isn't as effective when those who naturally function in these areas aren't functioning and aren't empowered to function. But still I can agree with this person's statement, the stereotype is there...leaders and teachers are often portrayed as more "valuable" than encouragers and servers. Where did this start? Do we feed this belief?

Well, then there is the whole issue about how we view ourselves as women before God. There is a real lack of strong spiritual women when compared with the amount of women in churches as a whole who portray a culturally relevant yet accurate and meaningful picture of what strong and biblical womanhood looks like. I'm not saying all of us women should drop out of career world and storm the seminaries...in fact the opposite. But, I guess I'm saying that it seems that the big "C" church (like the larger one) sometimes get stuck on portraying biblical womanhood as 1950's "Leave it to Beaver"-esqueness. Many are left feeling competant in the world, but insecure with other women in ministry and the church...how do I measure up spiritually with the women here, the mold I'm "supposed" to fill..... There are a few good and relevant examples in some churches, but not nearly enough.

Then there is the whole thing about how the little insecurities take root and become enduring states of insecurity as weakness is vulnerable and among women can be a hush-hush (this is hush-hush among men too...) :O)...)topic. This gets me on my whole saga about the role shame plays in our lives...just ask if you are interested. Well, the reality is that Jesus the portrait of one who became vulnerable. There was a way created to become free in these things....but it takes us all to push and point and drag each other to the feet of Jesus... And it takes someone first being vulnerable...flinching first if you will.

Still chewing on this...but it is midnight and I have work in the morning.